Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about 
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit 
Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper 
on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. 

A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through 
town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" 

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?".

Joke 2 - Snow White

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up 
behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face 
screaming, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

Joke 3 - Forced to Stand

One particularly cramped woman turned to the man
behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your
thing, I'm going to the cops!"

"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay
check in my pocket."

"Oh really," she spat. "Then you must have some job, because
that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!"

Joke 4 - Bearded Biker

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She
knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big,
hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms
answers the door. She proclaims "I want to join your
biker club".

The guy was amused and told her that she needed to
meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed
to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?" The
little old lady says "Yea, that's my Harley over there"
and points to a Harley parked in the driveway.

The biker asks her "Do you smoke?" The little old lady
says "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a
day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool".

The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever
been picked up by the Fuzz?".

The little old lady says "No, I've never been picked up
by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples".

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